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Joke of the Day

"I'm just a boy, standing in front of a girl, asking her to help me put a bunch of ducks in my car."

"When the cleaning lady say's ""Have a good night"", I try to time it so we say it in unison. Then I say our ""You too"" response in harmony."

"What musical group is Jesus most afraid of? Nine Inch Nails"

"I made a shitty voodoo doll, once... ...and all the limbs fell off. Worked out for me, though."

"Adopt a Highway ""When do you think it is a safe age to tell a highway it's been adopted?"""

"Who do patriotic latinos talk to? You ese."

"A politician set out to create the most jobs Crime creates lots of jobs - police, insurance, repairs, medical if its violent crime, lawyers... and so was born the criminal nature of politicians."

"What's the difference between a prostitute and oreo? April Fools ya dumbitches!! There's no difference at all."

"I got jumped the other night, the muggers made off with my wallet, cuff links, and mood ring... I'm still not sure how I feel about that."

"Funny women are smart. Be careful."