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Joke of the Day

"Why did the farmer get nominated for an award? Because he was outstanding in his field. Why didn't the farmer make it to the award ceremony? Because he was out standing in his field."

"""You never tell me you love me,"" said my girlfriend. I said, ""That's because you never ask."" She said, ""Do you want me to?"" ""Go for it,"" I replied. She said, ""Do you love me?"" I said, ""No."""

"When I was a kid I could go to a corner store with a $1 and get 2 cokes, 1 kitkat and a gum Nowadays there are CCTV cameras everywhere"

"Lorde wrote her Grammy nominated album at age 14. My son is 13 and has let the bathtub overflow twice while he was sitting INSIDE of it."

"Armed assault on the banter convention Shots fired."

"What happens when a jew with a boner runs into a wall He breaks his nose"

"me (checkin out at grocery store with 2 rotisserie chickens): hold up *i grab my phone although it didn't ring* sure i'll get 1 more chicken"

"How many karma whores does it take to change a lightbulb? I'll tell you at 1000 upvotes"

"My Jewish girlfriend left me for a black man. Nigga stole my kike."

"Aww, it's so cute when you try to talk about things you don't understand."