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Joke of the Day

"How many karma whores does it take to change a lightbulb? I'll tell you at 1000 upvotes"

"Michael Sam has stepped away from football. He will now pursue his sacks elsewhere."

"Interview Boss: What could you bring to this company? Me: Well I guess I could bring my stereo, but I get to choose what we listen to."

"Wouldn't that be a cool twist if World War 3 turned out to be a U.S.-Russia thing after all? ""So retro!"", you'd think as you were vaporized."

"Josh tells his friend Steve, 'did you know 2 out of every 3 people live next to a paedophile?' Steve replies 'not me, I live next to two smoking hot 10 years olds'"

"Can you spell very happy with three letters? XTC (ecstasy)."

"Is that placebo working for you? Well, now that you mention it, no."

"Reasons to keep spiders around 1. Eat flying insects 2. Occasional source of protein during sleep 3. We make rad webs 4. They do i mean they"

"I'm like Jason Bourne, only I'm not looking for exits in each room.. I'm looking for outlets & phone chargers."

"Nice cargo shorts. You may want to dial back that awesome a little. Not really sure how much I can take."