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Joke of the Day

"Smelling one of my farts has to kill at least 10 million brain cells. My dog doesn't even know how to bark anymore."

"Christopher Dorner Did you guys hear about Christopher Dorner? He went out guns a-blazin'."

"I am wearing a jacket, because my mom felt cold."

"I was wondering why I had pentagrams on my palms. Then I remembered: I've been using hand satanizer."

"Steve Irwin lived the same way he died... With animals in his heart."

"What do the twin towers and genders have in common? There used to be two and now its too offensive to talk about."

"What do you get when you cross a mosquito and a rooster? An itchy cock"

"How many people in denial does it take to change a lightbulb ? There is nothing wrong with the lightbulb."

"Someone just stole my lemon loaf.... Out of everything that happened today, they really took the cake"

"What's the difference between an enzyme and a hormone? You can't hear an enzyme."