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Joke of the Day

"I am wearing a jacket, because my mom felt cold."

"How did Helen Keller get punished? Her mom rearranged the living room"

"What do you call an epileptic in a lettuce patch? A seizure salad!"

"You know whats worse... Then fingering your sister. finding your dad wedding ring"

"Whats the difference between a porsche and an erection? I dont have a porsche. (Best told by whispering in someones ear.)"

"i would rather have 4 tiny ice cream cones instead of 1 regular sized ice cream cone that is something i feel strongly about 2day thank u"

"Q: Why do businessmen carry umbrellas? A: Because umbrellas can't walk."

"*sits gf down* i am about to ask you a big question. if you dont know the answer then thats ok... *clears throat* where is the space jam dvd"

"I received a rolex for Christmas from the lesbian couple who live next door. Now, while I am happy with the gift, I guess they didn`t quite understand what I meant when I told them, ""I wanna watch""."

"Keep away from professional dermatologists.. They make rash decisions"