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Joke of the Day
"Why can't steven hawking perform comedy? He can't do stand up"
Next Joke
 
"""Those who do not know history are doomed to repeat it"" [cut to: me wearing a toga and confusedly trying to conquer Gaul]"
"What do you call a gay satanist? Sack-Religious"
"Lost my watch at a party once. Saw a guy stepping on it while sexually harassing a girl. I walked up to the dude, punched him straight in the nose. No one does that to a girl, not on my watch."
"My wife got braces today, so last night I reminded her... I reminded her that last night would be her last pain-free BJ night for two years. Looks like I will be waiting another two years..."
"Recently found out I'm not the devil. I read the tag on my underpants incorrectly; it said ""Satin"". Oops."
"I told facebook my concerns about lack of privacy; they said they already knew how I felt about it."
"A programmer goes on a walk XD"
"Doctor Doctor I feel like a racehorse. Take one of these every 4 laps !"
"What's David Cameron's favourite Shakespeare play? Hamlet."