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Joke of the Day
"A programmer goes on a walk XD"
Next Joke
"How do you make a duck sing? Put it in the microwave until its Bill Withers"
"If my glass is half full then I start wondering where my bartender is."
"[job interview] ""So what are your goals for working here?"" To be home by noon..."
"Teacher: You're here to learn. Me: No bitch, I'm here because my mum wouldn't let me stay home."
"""So kids, I was married to your mom & I met this girl on Twitter, we started DMing and one thing led to another"" -How I Met Your Stepmother"
"If 4 people have sex is called a four-some 3 people have sex is a three-some and 2 people have sex is a two-some Now you know why they call me handsome"
"Elderly woman ahead of me at Subway is paying for her lunch with nickels and now I don't even give a shit about health care reform."
"I've created a new strain of marijuana called halal haze.. . It's so strong... It'll get you stoned to death."
"Got my right hand a Valentines Day card. Had to sign it with my left hand so it will be a surprise."