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Joke of the Day

"Pretty proud that after all these years I still have the body of a 22 yr old triathlete. In my storage shed."

"How do you know a wood pieces history? You check its logbook"

"Why was Herbert Hoover such a controversial president? Because he never let the dust settle."

"Harambe walks into a bar... Bartender: What will you be having to drink? Harambe: I'll have a beer. Me: No, he'll have just ice. Bartender: Just ice? Me: Yes, justice for Harambe."

"What should you do if you get an erection on the subway? Get off at the next stop!"

"The Friend zone. It's like being turned down for a job, then they call you a week later complaining about the person they hired."

"What's a nymphomaniac's favorite candy bar? Almond joy."

"Where did Sally go during the bombing? Everywhere."

"The problem with the French is that they don't have a word for entrepreneur. -George.W.Bush"

"Did you hear about the lesbian construction company? There are no studs, it's all tongue and groove . . ."