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Joke of the Day

"Why do people from finland have problems with sex? Because it's hard for them to Finnish."

"How do you make a blonde laugh on a Wednesday? Tell her a joke on a Monday!"

"Not only do I refuse to take the stairs up to my office, when I'm in the elevator I wish there was a chair in it."

"I wish I could date Pokemon GO's servers Because then she'd go down on me 5 times a day."

"What is tangled rope in space called? Astro-knot"

"Have you heard the rumor going around about butter? Never mind. I shouldn't spread it."

"Her: What do you do? Me: I drill for oil. G: That sounds interesting. M: No, it's really... H: Don't do it, I'll leave M:...just boring"

"Remains to be seen... ...if glass coffins become popular."

"I rang the wife last night after work to say I'd pick up fish and chips on the way home. I was met with a stoney silence. Something tells me that she's beginning to regret letting me name the twins."

"Text: ARE YOU ALIVE? Me: Why?"