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Joke of the Day

"I wish I could date Pokemon GO's servers Because then she'd go down on me 5 times a day."

"What did you do wrong if your wife comes out of the kitchen and yells at you? You made her chain to long."

"A magician was driving through a neighborhood... and then he turned into a driveway."

"Why does Mexico always do so poorly in the olympics? Anyone who could run, swim or jump made it to the USA."

"Two fat Scottish sounding women in my bar tonight... ""Hey, are you two from Scotland?"" I asked. ""It's WALES you fucking idiot,"" one yelled. I apologized, ""Sorry, are you two whales from Scotland?"""

"Parliament should learn from Twitter, thousands of people shout here doing nothing productive, yet it never gets adjourned."

"If I'm going to be this awake at 2:30 in the morning, I might as well go guard a factory or something."

"www.reddit.com See Above."

"Q: What is the definition of the perfect woman? A: A deaf and dumb blonde nymphomaniac whose father owns a pub."

"Why is CoD like women? Search and Destroy."