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Joke of the Day

"My boss came up to me..... My boss came up to me and told me ""don't dress for the job you have but dress for the job you want"" so I dressed up as Batman, the bastard said I was fired"

"The girls that say that all guys want is sex, are usually the ones who have only that to offer."

"What a polite guy... I met Michael J Fox the other day. I only gave him a hi-five and he still shook my hand."

"What's the difference between a bicycle and a black man? A bike doesn't start singing when you put chains on it."

"I told the doctor I had to see him right away because I thought I was shrinking He told me he was busy and that I'd have to be a little patient"

"And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance... Barista: Sir your Caffe Mocha is ready. Me: Oh ok nevermind."

"I love cooking with wine Sometimes I even put it in the food."

"If you really want to impress me with the year a bottle of wine was made, bring me one from 2024...."

"How do you cut pizza? With Little Ceasar's."

"I hate to rub it in, but lotion doesn't really work otherwise."