199594

Joke of the Day

"I told the doctor I had to see him right away because I thought I was shrinking He told me he was busy and that I'd have to be a little patient"

"My friend was in a terrible accident, and now has to breathe through a straw ...you could say he sucks at life."

"Raise your hand if you ever ran out of toilet paper and had to use a coffee filter. So, just me.."

"Why did the Carpenters wife leave him? Because he was screwing around."

"Is Google a Boy or a Girl? A girl, because it tries to complete your sentences for you, and it *never ever* forgets what you said."

"What did the astronaut say to the other when he pressed the wrong button? I apollo-gize."

"Slipped on black ice So the other day I slipped on some black ice, at first I thought it was normal ice, but when I got up i noticed my wallet was missing."

"Why did Cersei Lannister sent princess Myrcella to Dorne? She knew her family history a little too well. Myrcella had two brothers."

"Vladimir Putin was recently late to a meeting He was really Russian"

"Christian Mingle: God has hidden a spouse for you on our website. Pay us $30 and see if you can find them."