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Joke of the Day

"What do you call an incestuous nephew? An aunt-eater."

"I wouldn't say that Christmas gnomes are cross-eyed but when they cry the tears run down their back!"

"Smiles from ear to ear. Wife: what are you smiling about? Our dog just took a giant dump in our neighbors yard Wife: God I love that dog."

"What do you call two lesbians floating down a river in a canoe? Fur traders."

"Sadly, I had to quit my job as a taxi driver... I just couldn't stand everyone talking behind my back."

"I'm human, but I never got to go to space. Dogs and monkeys *aren't human, but they did. That's the gist of my lawsuit against NASA."

"60 Minutes would be a better show if they played that ticking noise the entire time."

"How can you spot the blind guy at the nudist colony? It's not hard."

"This guy at work always looks down my blouse. So im going to put a piece of popcorn in there to see if he points it out."

"What is a neckbeard's favorite language? M'lay."