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Joke of the Day

"Smiles from ear to ear. Wife: what are you smiling about? Our dog just took a giant dump in our neighbors yard Wife: God I love that dog."

Next Joke
 
"Why was Santa upset he got a sweater for Christmas? Because he wanted a screamer of a moaner."
"What was Helen Keller's dog's name? Uuuuuueeeeuuuuhhhh!!!"
"Where does geography and geography meet? The Bermuda Triangle."
"Detective Baby: We got you dead to rights, dirtbag. *suspect puts face in hands* Detective Baby: HE'S ESCAPED"
"The only bad thing about most people is having to interact with them."
"""How much ice does it take to preserve a dead body?"" *I ask on twitter because googling it gets people caught."
"Me: Who wants to go out to dinner and scream and cry and make daddy wish he wore more condoms? Kids: WE DO! YAY!"
"I call my penis ""Batman"". Girls love it when the Dark Knight Rises."
"What does a Jew with an erection get when he walks into a wall? A broken nose, i will sit in the corner now."