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Joke of the Day

"One day I'm gonna go to work without my glasses and they're gonna be like, ""Who's that hottie?"" and I'm gonna be like, ""WHO IS SAYING THAT?"""

"Werewolves are notoriously hard to find... Otherwise they'd be known as Therewolves."

"I remember when people just wanted to date someone with personality..but noOoo, now everyone's gotta have multiple."

"My daughter, filling out a college app, called me at home to get my home number. Big shout out to the ex-wife for pissing in my gene pool."

"Read more Apple jokes"

"That bull you sold me is a lazy good-for-nothing! I told you he was a bum steer!"

"Where do you get sent if you have a brainfreeze? The iceeu"

"A long, romantic kiss... and then - She: I think I swallowed your gum. He: No, I just cleared my throat."

"Imagine coming home from a long vacation and finding your bathroom towels are wet from just being used. I can do that to your ex if you want"

"What's the difference between someone who can mend your pants quick and a famous singer? One of them is a swift tailor."