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Joke of the Day
"Read more Apple jokes"
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"There is simply no need to add ""NSFW"" in your bio. This is twitter. None of us have jobs."
"Justin Bieber just compared himself to Kurt Cobain. When Kurt Cobain finds out, he's totally going to kill himself."
"I decided today that I want to have kids I hope they taste good"
"Someone told me there's a gay guy in my circle of friends... I hope it's Michael. Hes cute."
"What's your father's name? Teacher: What's your father's name? Kid: Joke!! Teacher: (irritatingly) are you kidding? kid: Nopes, he's my brother, I am joking!!"
"What do you call an expert in psychedelics? A trip advisor."
"What is Jose Cuervo's favorite book? Tequila Mockingbird."
"My nephew is in the 'why' phase of his life as a 6 year old... and I told him 'Because it feels nice and you're an unreliable witness!'"
"My doctor said that high levels of hormones were causing me to prematurely ejaculate. On my way home I bought a gag for my wife."