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Joke of the Day
"Werewolves are notoriously hard to find... Otherwise they'd be known as Therewolves."
Next Joke
"Regretting the compliment... A woman walks up to a guy in a blue bathing suit and says, ""Did you know your eyes match your swim trunks?"" He says, ""Really! Why? Are my eyes bulging?"""
"After grandpa's unfortunate steamroller incident last year, man crush Monday is always a difficult time for me and my family."
"My phone auto-fills FUCKLULZ. Do I get my own bot now?"
"What is the difference between Jam and Jelly? I can't jelly my dick down your throat."
"We have one of the recalled Samsung washers. But, don't feel sorry for us... We're going to have a blast!"
"I've just spoke with a woman who said she met me at a vegetarian club last week I could have sworn I've never met herbivore"
"The letter I takes up less room than the letter W yet they're both counted as one character. If Twitter was an Airline this wouldn't happen."
"if you meet a woman under the age of 75 named ""Maude"" or ""Agatha"" it's a good bet to check nearby for a time machine"
"Do you know the meaning ""Happy wife, happy life""? I tend to go with ""Happy wife, extended life."""