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Joke of the Day

"I'd tell you a joke about a ghost boomerang.. But I don't want it to come back to haunt me."

"If all foods were packaged like honey they'd all come in these miniature fake human containers which would be weird as hell"

"They say 9 or 10 is a good age to tell your kid they were adopted, but only IF they were adopted."

"Why did the pharaoh retire? Because he did not want to be part of a pyramid scheme"

"Nike just announced it will now be using robots instead of children to make shoes Unfortunately, the robots will be made by children."

"My ex girlfriend.."

"I went to go see a psychic the other day.. I asked her if I'd ever be going to jail some time in the future. She said no, so I robbed her."

"FYI wearing camouflage at your desk so no one sees you masturbating doesn't work."

"Women are better than cake. You can have a woman and eat her too."

"Why do lesbians shop at sports authority? Because the don't like dicks."