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Joke of the Day

"What should we call people who leave crusty bits of food in the corner of their mouths? #Herpeaters."

"Learn cursive, they said. You'll need it your whole life, they said."

"What's pink and has seven dents in it? Snow white's hymen"

"Why Obama shouldn't take the penny out of circulation. He said he would bring change, not take it away."

"I could never be a detective. I can't even solve equations, let alone crimes."

"Why cant Helen Keller drive a car? ..Because she's dead."

"When someone tells you to ""get a Life,"" just take theirs. They'll be happy you took their advice, and you'll be happy they're dead."

"[throws a dart at map of the world] One day, I'm gonna go over there & pull that dart out. The next time I wanna play darts, probably."

"How did the footbal pitch end up as triangle ? Somebody took a corner !"

"How do you catch a unique rabbit? Unique up on it. How do you catch a tame rabbit? Tame way, unique up on it."