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Joke of the Day

"What's the most wicked thing a group of young accountants can do? Go into town and gang-audit someone."

"What type of tea do babies drink? Tit tea "

"KID: are you sure this will work? ME: *holding a fishing rod with a peppermint attached* do you want a new grandpa or not?"

"HEY GRAPEFRUIT, know what else is a grape AND a fruit? GRAPES. yeah. so get your own name you citrus idiot"

"What do you call smutty pictures of birds? Pornithography."

"Late to Fight Club Was late to my Fight Club last night so I missed the intro rules. I love Fight Club, I'd highly recommend Fight Club."

"When you call home on a holiday and get passed around, it's worse than being included on a group text."

"What do you call a movie set during a woman's menstral cycle? A period piece"

"What's the best thing about a Trmp versus Clinton election? One of them has to lose."

"[Taken 26] Abductor: I have your great granddaughter LIAM NEESON: I literally died 12 years ago"