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Joke of the Day

"A gaggle of geese, a brood of hens, what do you call a group of turkeys? A corporation."

"I posed naked for a magazine today... Although from the reaction I got, I think the newsstand owner would have preferred money."

"Why was the potato chip angry? Because he was salty Edit: im so sorry."

"Sorry I was cleaning my phone screen and accidentally took 37 selfies."

"My internet is so slow, it's just faster to drive to the Google headquarters and ask them shit in person."

"Why are fat people always possessed by the devil? They never exorcise."

"My sister is holding her baby in one hand and a cup of Starbucks in the other, I'm going to toss her phone at her to see who gets dropped."

"What's the hardest part about a fat nun's job? Getting into the habit"

"You are such a good friend that if we were on a sinking ship together and there was only one life jacket ... I'd miss you heaps and think of you often."

"Life Tip: Do not treat your woman like an object. It hates that."