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Joke of the Day

"A man and a woman get into a lift Man says to woman ""Can I smell your feet?"" ""No!"" the woman says in disgust ""Must be your vagina then!"" replies the man."

"There's a dog on my street who practices Islam. I don't have a problem with his religion, I just wish he wouldn't wake me up every morning at 5am shouting ""ALLAHU AK-BARK."""

"What's the hardest part about eating a vegetable? The wheelchair gets in the way."

"What do Saddam Hussein and Little Miss Muffet have in common? They both had kurds in their way. (Curds in their whey.) ***This joke is phonetically superior to its' written version."

"If you get kissed by an alpaca it's not the end of the world. It's the alpaca-lips."

"Every Facebook post: *Girl posts lyrics* Elderly woman comments ""Hi lucy. you're so grown up. We miss you. Tell your mom ill call Wednesday"""

"Why do strippers hate roofers? They always pay in shingles."

"Why wouldn't Hannibal Lecter eat clowns? Because they tasted funny."

"Why do blacks make good athletes? They spent the first nine months of their lives dodging hangers."

"How do you seat four gay men on a bar stool? Flip it over."