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Joke of the Day

"I posed naked for a magazine today... Although from the reaction I got, I think the newsstand owner would have preferred money."

"How do men in New Zealand address their women? ""Hey! Ewe!"""

"A sandwich walks into a bar The bartender looks at it and says, ""Sorry, we don't serve food here."""

"AMA: I am a submarine naval commander discharged for friendly fire in an underwater sea battle Oops, wrong sub."

"So, two yogurts walk into a bar The bar tender says ""hey, what do you think you're doing? We don't serve you here!"" And the Yogurts respond ""Why? We're two cultured individuals."""

"When telling your dog he's adopted, make sure to mention that you will never love him as much as the dogs you gave birth to."

"Why did the synagogue ban Monopoly? Because the fights over who got to be the banker were getting bloody"

"Got a HJ (""handjob"") from a FRUIT! [NSFW if you can't have handjob jokes @ W] He gave apple and made me kumquats!"

"I used to work in children's wear, but I grew out of it."

"Lost: bucket of sand, silt, and gravel Great sedimental value. (I can't take credit. Read it in a university paper 20 years ago.)"