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Joke of the Day

"I told everyone I was going to be a comedian And they all laughed at me. Now I'm a comedian, and they're not laughing anymore."

"Wife: What would you do if I died? Husband: I would go crazy Wife: Would you re-marry? Husband: Ah, not that crazy.."

"I want a romantic comedy trailer that starts, ""Ben was looking for love in all the wrong places,"" and then shows Ben digging up a grave."

"I wouldn't say Christmas gnomes are ugly But if beauty's skin deep then they were was born inside out!"

"Saw these two homeless people making out and was like... ...get a room!"

"If I had a quarter for every woman I made love to Id have 45 cents."

"At any given moment the urge to sing is just a whim away. A whim away, a whim away, a whim away, a whim away, a whim away, a whim away..."

"A man walks into a bar with a piece of green tarmac on his head... The landlord says to the rest of the customers: ""Don't talk to him! He's a **cycle path**!"" Ba Dum Tss!"

"Why did the mosquito go to the dentist ? To improve his bite !"

"""You are what you eat"" [Eats a confident person] Now we wait..."