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Joke of the Day

"I want a romantic comedy trailer that starts, ""Ben was looking for love in all the wrong places,"" and then shows Ben digging up a grave."

"[museum tour in the future] Racism and sexism ended in the 21st century, when brave Americans argued it out of existence online"

"The Physics Department didn't like my Stephen Hawking jokes... ...They all got bent out of shape."

"[date started at 9 pm] [9:30 pm] Her: I love long awkward silences. [10:20 pm] Me: Me too."

"I'd tell you the one about the Jonestown Massacre, BUT... The punch line's too long."

"If I was Steve Jobs I would engrave on my tombstone: iDied."

"If you accidentally drop a roll of toilet paper while sitting down, it will roll approximately 65 feet away from you. Science."

"What do you call an eerie French pastry chef? A crepe."

"You can make up any word you want in conversation and if you use it in a dilsationary way, people rarely question the meaning."

"High school plays are a lot like airplanes. People only want to hear about them if they crash and burn."