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Joke of the Day

"What is the difference between a dirty bus stop, and a lobster with breast implants? One is a crusty bus station, and the other is a busty crustacean."

"Why does the Coast Guard have ultraviolet lights? To help them find missing sea men."

"I've got a 3D printer But it only prints pieces of paper."

"Do you ever smoke after sex? I don't know, I never look."

"Maybe I misheard him... But I think God just told me to start building a really big goat."

"The reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live."

"Why can't black people get PhD's? Because they can't get past their Masters."

"I just want to be one of those dads who runs on the field & tackles an opposing 6 year old"

"I was asked who my favorite X-Men character was.. Apparently Bruce Jenner was ""inappropriate."""

"A double amputee was brought in for questioning after a shooting at a local convenience store. Police released the man soon after they discovered he was unarmed."