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Joke of the Day

"If Trump deports all the Mexicans Who's going to build the wall?"

"my lawyer wants me to turn myself into the police but I keep telling him impersonating a cop is what got me into trouble in the first place"

"Did you get a haircut? No. I got all of them cut."

"Baby, let's stay up all night and watch people Instagram the sunrise."

"Did you hear about the physicist who moonlighted as a romance novelist? He wrote complete works of friction."

"Pantsing people is fun but it sucks when you accidentally look deep into their butthole, thru the tip of their penis and out the other side."

"I hate when people tell me to have a safe flight. Like I have a choice. It's either back home, or in a swamp. I'll try really hard to live."

"My doctor encouraged me to masturbate more often Well, he actually said I could have a stroke any time."

"Some bastard stole my penis warmer off the washing line last night... I'm not bothered about the penis warmer, I would just like the 30 pegs back."

"Why don't many buddhists work in the railroad industry? they have too many ohms to be good conductors."