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Joke of the Day

"Why don't many buddhists work in the railroad industry? they have too many ohms to be good conductors."

"[working in garage] ""Hand me a screwdriver, son"" A flat one? ""No"" [mixes vodka and Orange Crush] Here ya go"

"I'm thinking about joining a sports team just so I can get my butt slapped."

"Wife: Are you drunk? Me: I know this is a trick question so I'm going with no. Why? W: Because you're naked on the neighbors porch. M:..."

"If there's a pedicure, why are there still pedophiles?"

"Gotta be consistent about working under the influence so coworkers think you're naturally that weird"

"Why did the puppy get away with committing murder? ...He had paws-able deniability."

"What's the difference between dead babies and salads? I don't put my salads in the microwave before I eat them"

"Why are all the girls in my school dressed up like OP,s mom?"

"You'd think the chances of putting in a USB drive wrong side-up would be 50-50, but nope, 90-10."