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Joke of the Day

"my lawyer wants me to turn myself into the police but I keep telling him impersonating a cop is what got me into trouble in the first place"

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"What do you get when you run over geese? Goose bumps"
"""Dad why do you write so slow?"" asked Dennis. ""I have to"" replied his father. ""I'm a slow reader."""
"Perks of dating me : I'm too lazy to cheat on you"
"Love me sister, I incest."
"wassup babe, im the reason Pregnancy-info .net disabled video embedding on their forums, how abuot giving me a nice kiss"
"What is the best part of a blowjob? The 15 minutes of silence."
"What's the number for Baltimore chiropractic services? 9-1-1"
"Hey there, mind if I take a bite? Cause your decomposing in ALL the right places."
"Just wrote a book on reverse psychology... Don't read it!"