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Joke of the Day

"Ever since I became asexual I've found I have to repeat myself a lot. ... You're not getting it? Neither am I. ... Let me reiterate."

"You know what grinds a Germans gear? Nothing, they are too well engineered. Edit: Spelling"

"Is a hippopotamus really a hippopotamus.. Or just a really cool-opotamus?"

"""I know she told me to buy Tampax, but I'll buy the store brand that's on sale instead."" The last thoughts of a man who's about to die."

"Best joke ever? my life"

"That awkward moment when your in super deep thought. Then 3 minutes later you realize you are staring directly at someone."

"What do the Police, the NFL and Black Lives Matter all have in common? They all have the same PR guy."

"I called in to work and asked my boss what the difference between work and his daughter was. I'm not coming into work this morning."

"Why does Star Wars Movies numbering scheme starts with 4,5,6? Because in charge of the numbers, Yoda was"

"Attributed to Mr Rogers... ...supposedly told by him to a FOAF on his first day on the job as a cameraman on Mr Rogers Neighborhood. Knock knock. Who's there? Fuck. Fuck who? No, fuck WHOM."