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Joke of the Day

"That awkward moment when your in super deep thought. Then 3 minutes later you realize you are staring directly at someone."

"I like to leave my gas cap hanging off when I'm on a date so when people start honking and waving I can wave back like I'm famous"

"How cute does someone have to be for sparks to fly? Electro*cute*"

"How come Barbie never got pregnant? Ken always comes in a different box."

"I'm thinking about writing a book. It's a novel idea."

"I didn't use to eat babies. I still don't. I just didn't use to as well."

"A TCP packet walks into a bar... ... and says to the barmen: ""Hello, I'd like a beer."" the barman replies: ""Hello, you'd like a beer?"" ""Yes,"" replies the packet, ""I'd like a beer."""

"Why is it good for a mason to live in constant fear? That way he just shits bricks."

"Why does Luke Skywalker never have trouble getting laid? Because he always uses the force."

"What's brown and sticky? Anal."