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Joke of the Day

"I Saved A Life Today. It looks great in my cereal box collection."

"Wanna piss a rhinoceros off? Hang his car keys on his nose."

"What Do You Call A Blank Piece Of Paper? WOMEN'S RIGHTS!!!"

"When the zombie apocalypse comes, we'll be the last to go because we never leave our houses."

"I went to Africa to help with the Ebola crisis. When I left, my mentor said thanks and told me that all of Africa was behind me. I instinctively reached for my wallet."

"Why did Hitler turn to genocide after a failed career as an artist? He never learned to mix the colors"

"[in hell] Me: *sneeze* The devil: bless you Me, waving as I float to heaven: haha, fool the devil: DAMN YOU Me, floating back to hell: dang"

"Old Mr. Rosen goes to the Doctor Doctor: Mr. Rosen, I don't know how to tell you this, but you're going to have to stop masturbating. Mr. Rosen: Why? Doctor: So I can examine you."

"Have you ever tasted Ethiopian food... Neither have they."

"What do you say when you see two fetuses making out? ""Oh get a womb"""