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Joke of the Day

"I went to Africa to help with the Ebola crisis. When I left, my mentor said thanks and told me that all of Africa was behind me. I instinctively reached for my wallet."

"What does a pirate drink for breakfast? Arrrrange juice."

"When I'm in the car and a sad song comes on the radio, I stare out the window and act like I'm in a movie."

"Happiness is a relative thing. I finally have some extra money and suddenly my relatives are happy."

"Do you think Reese Witherspoon calls her kids Reese's Pieces cause I hope so."

"Why is it hard for Chihuahuas to type on a keyboard? They're all paws."

"What do you call a white Arab prince? A milk sheikh"

"Scientist next to me: My god. Reality is a simulation. Me (also a scientist): My god. I haven't fed my tamagotchi in 17 years."

"My friends dared me to take Viagra and a laxative at the same time. So I went and sat on the toilet and I couldn't tell if I was cumming or going."

"What did the elephant say to the naked man? How do you breathe through that tiny thing?"