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Joke of the Day

"Have you ever tasted Ethiopian food... Neither have they."

"Chihuahuas are a lot like farts... ...only their owners can stand them."

"You don't need to wear clothes in public if you can run fast enough."

"What's the difference between a dirty bus stop and a lobster with large tits? One's a crusty bus station and the other's a busty crustacean"

"How many literalists does it take to change a lightbulb? One."

"Oh, so you're a Shania Twain fan, eh? That don't impress me much..."

"I'm ready for the cop-buddy film where they actually get along in the beginning but hate each other by the end."

"I just gave a woman $700 to put her screaming baby in the overhead compartment on this plane."

"Apparently 1 in 7 people in the world are Chinese. That means it's either me, my mum, dad, brother Steve, brother Craig, sister hanna, or brother huangxi. I suspect Craig."

"[on 1st date] Him: So why is someone as pretty as you single? Me: Single? Who's single? [gets right up in his face] We marry at dawn."