202692

Joke of the Day

"Some people have hauntingly good looks. Not you though, you're just really scary looking."

"Yesterday I accidentally swallowed some food coloring. The doctor says I'm okay, but I feel like I've dyed a little inside."

"*showing mom how to use her phone* What's the blue button with the bird? THAT BUTTON GIVES YOUR BANK INFO TO TERRORISTS NEVER TOUCH IT!!!!"

"When a woman says, ""We need to talk"", it's no good. Never has a woman said, ""We need to talk"" and followed it up with ""about pillow forts""."

"If an officer asks ""do you know why I pulled you over"" ""Because it's the only way to get girls to talk to you?"" is a bad answer, apparently."

"What's the main difference between light and hard? I can go to sleep with a light on"

"Feminists are like Mr. Bean They do stupid stuff and everybody laughs at them!"

"reflection on human being in the world there are two kinds of persons: those who finish what they started and those"

"Rabbit: Are you sure this bottle of special carrot juice will cure me? Doctor: Absolutely. No rabbit ever came back for another."

"Me: ""You flunked the labs & the midterm. You need 154% in the final to pass."" Him: ""So there's still a chance?"" Me: ""Let me ask my unicorn."""