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Joke of the Day

"*showing mom how to use her phone* What's the blue button with the bird? THAT BUTTON GIVES YOUR BANK INFO TO TERRORISTS NEVER TOUCH IT!!!!"

Next Joke
 
"My friends think I should stop telling jokes because my punchlines are always shit. Shit."
"Why didn't the child in the secret society get a present for christmas? He had been illumi-naughty"
"Making the Least of Life by Minnie Mumm"
"What does a plumber call screwing his wife [NSFW] Servicing the dishwasher"
"Does ""You'll find love when you're not looking for it"" apply to money too? Because let me be clear I am NOT looking for $10 million dollars."
"Just saw a fully functional phone booth with an intact yellow pages; so, yeah, I know a thing or two about time travel."
"Sorry I can't pay my rent this month, I bought an apple at the airport."
"That outfit is very becoming on you Then again, if I was on you, I would be cumming, too."
"Every single person my age... ...is 43."