105984

Joke of the Day

"Yesterday I accidentally swallowed some food coloring. The doctor says I'm okay, but I feel like I've dyed a little inside."

"What do you call a zombie that runs fast? A zoombie."

"What happened to the cowboy when he said that he was sick of washing cowhides at his side of the dairy? He was sent to the udder side"

"Is it hard to spot a cheetah? No, they come that way."

"Did you hear about the old chameleon that couldn't change color? He had *a reptile dysfunction*."

"A priest and a rabbi Are walking past a school, the priest says to the rabbi hey want to screw a little boy and the rabbi says to the priest screw him out of what?!"

"Fitness level: Just used a yoga DVD as a coaster for my beer. Namaste."

"My favorite pick up line/joke. Yo homeboy!? How about you be my Sherlock and I'll take you Holmessss!! ;)"

"Walmart keeps two elderly people on staff at all times: one to greet you, and one to walk slowly in front of you on the way out."

"(Describing Guy Fieri to sketch artist): Literally a flaming hot cheeto"