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Joke of the Day

"If an officer asks ""do you know why I pulled you over"" ""Because it's the only way to get girls to talk to you?"" is a bad answer, apparently."

"What got the apple into skydiving? Pear pressure."

"so i learned recently that fruit is good for the colon... thus a homosexual's must be exceptionally healthy"

"You know what they say about fast typers?[OC] They can make a girl qwert Credit: sumkid (Maria) and I"

"I spent a couple of hours defrosting the fridge last night, or ""foreplay"" as she likes to call it..."

"I hope the Olympics has taught kids and parents that in real life you do not get a trophy just for participating."

"Why don't dentists display their awards? Because they want to prevent plaque build-up."

"Sometimes I'll catch my reflection in a mirror and I'll be like, ""oh no, that can't be right."""

"Whats brown and rhymes with snoop? Dre"

"I'm sure I'm not the only person to ever use Google Maps Satellite feature to see whose car is in my driveway in the middle of the day."