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Joke of the Day

"This man recorded his son every day for a decade. The footage is breathtaking and takes 10 years to watch."

"Derek Acorah got sacked from Most Haunted for advertising bio-yoghurt in breech of his contract. That's what you get for dabbling in the Yakult."

"Dad did you manage to fix my toy? No it's not broken the battery's flat. Well what shape should it be?"

"My best relationship advice: Make sure you're the crazy one."

"I guess i have a nice butt Because everytime i walk away from a conversation i hear, "" what an ass ""."

"40 years later: - Grandpa, sing me a song of your youth. - Oppa Gangnam Style. Opp, opp, opp, opp!"

"Whars long ha nuts on either sude and has an asshole around the corner The hallway in the mental hospital i just I just escaped"

"[2 months into relationship] HER: you've changed ME: [proudly] showered, too"

"A husband says to his wife... ""I killed 5 flies today. 2 were female, 3 were male."" Wife asks: ""How do you know?"" Husband says: ""2 were on the phone and 3 were on the beer can."""

"What do you feel when there's no more coffee? Depresso."