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Joke of the Day

"[2 months into relationship] HER: you've changed ME: [proudly] showered, too"

"What is Hellen Keller's favorite color? Corduroy."

"Why did Satan keep growing his herb garden even when his oregano died each time? Because he always had a Hell of a good thyme."

"What do you call a duck traveling south that enters a time warp and meets itself traveling north? A pair of ducks."

"I like to shit with the door open, because it keeps other people from getting onto the elevator with me."

"Hey old couples. Email addresses are free. You can each have your own. Wait... Just gave that more thought. Forget it. Keep sharing."

"I had a Mayweather joke, but it ran away from me."

"[restaurant] WAITER: [brings bill] ME: I got this DATE: Thanks ME: [gets out piggy bank] [hits it w/ hammer] [it is filled w/ bees] ME: RUN"

"R/Jokes is like my elbow. I don't come here often."

"Did you hear about the pig who tried to start a hot-air balloon business? He couldn't get it off the ground. ."