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Joke of the Day

"A husband says to his wife... ""I killed 5 flies today. 2 were female, 3 were male."" Wife asks: ""How do you know?"" Husband says: ""2 were on the phone and 3 were on the beer can."""

"What do you call a black hipster? An idiot."

"Walnut: I look exactly like a brain. Broccoli: Hey, I look like a tree. Mushroom: Wow, I look just like an umbrella. Walnut: I look exactly like a brain. Banana: Man, can we change the topic please?"

"What's the difference between Reddit and 9Gag? About 5 seconds."

"Q: When a 16-inch viola and a 17-inch viola are dropped simultaneously from a 30-story building which one hits the pavement first? A: Who cares!"

"Test Post Pls Ignore! April fools."

"The roulette dealer had a unique personality. He had a different spin on everything."

"Why did they stop the leper hockey game? There was a face off in the corner."

"What do you call a baby seal between two slices of bread? A clubbed sandwich"

"I nearly puked on my girlfriend, but she moved out of the way just in time She ducked my sick"