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Joke of the Day

"Derek Acorah got sacked from Most Haunted for advertising bio-yoghurt in breech of his contract. That's what you get for dabbling in the Yakult."

"I'm more of an amateur bater. I agree, I need more practice."

"almost called my teacher ""mom,"" but I caught myself after ""mo"" and added an ""n."" I had to pretend I was Jamaican for the rest of the year."

"Why did the blonde have a sore belly-button? Because she had a blond boyfriend."

"I was getting drunk with this cute girl and booze was going everywhere. Then suddenly I slipped in cider."

"They say innocence is always found in the children. This has only made it more difficult for me to understand why so many pedophiles are found guilty."

"How does a lawyer name their kids? Bill and Sue"

"Red bull gives you crippling heart palpitations just doesn't have the same ring to it."

"Have you heard about the Flint, Michigan football team? Their lead is unstoppable!"

"Whats got wrinkles and hangs out your undies? Your granny"