202425

Joke of the Day

"Ask your doctor if being a doctor is right for him. Everything isn't about you."

"BuzzFeed writer (innocently): hey friends. as a friendly activity, tell me your funny anecdotes. coincidentally I have an article due soon"

"""Your GPA last semester was a 4.0"" \- Steve Harvey"

"People say I'm condescending. That means I talk down to people."

"Lifeguards wouldn't let Obama in the pool because he had weeping *legions*"

"What's the difference between a deaf person and an Italian? One talks with their hands and makes goofy noises at random volumes, and the other can't hear."

"I put my baby on the baby changing station in the bathroom and when I was done, it was the same baby. :-("

"I gathered a list of ten puns yesterday. And i wanted to see if any were reasonable. So i put them all to the test to see if they would pass. No pun-in-ten-did. Edit: grammar"

"I killed a man once... ..for $30. Sucked him off for another 10... Never did see that $10"

"I always keep a windchime next to the bed so I can brush my fingers across it as my lover climaxes"