202205

Joke of the Day

"Winter is filled with men trying to figure out the least feminine way to apply chapstick."

"Chop, chop! - Chop, chop! - Who's there? - Han. - Han who? - Hannibal."

"Lesson learned: toddlers don't understand sarcasm. As a side note, don't say 'bite me' around toddlers that don't understand sarcasm"

"What do you call a dog with no legs? I doesn't matter, it won't come when you call it."

"How can you tell if someone got their dog from a shelter? Don't worry, they'll let you know."

"What do you call a masturbating cow? Beef Strokin' Off"

"How do you know if an Asian broke into your house? Your math homework's done, your computer is upgraded, and that little shit is still trying to back out of your driveway."

"Do you remember those old romantic movies where the guy would lay his coat down in a puddle for the woman? WALK AROUND THE FUCKING PUDDLE."

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Bride ! Bride who ? Bride and Prejudice !"

"The person who invented knock knock jokes... Deserves a no bell prize."