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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a dog with no legs? I doesn't matter, it won't come when you call it."

"If at first you dont succeed, then skydiving probably isn't for you!"

"SECURITY GUARD: [speaking into the cuff of his shirt] The president is on his way to the car LITTLE MOUSE THAT LIVES IN HIS SLEEVE: Ok cool"

"I'd love to go out with you, but my favorite commercial is on TV."

"This just happened and it could be a joke... No. Really. I was swinging my fork around and got dumplings in my eyes. It wasn't that bad."

"A blind guy walks into a bar... not a joke, this happens all the time."

"A man walks into a bar with Harambe Bartender: What can I get you ? Harambe: I'll have a beer. Man: No, he'll have just ice. Bartender: Just ice? Man: Yes, justice for Harambe."

"I thought I was a bisexual but I ended up just being gay. It was a bi now gay later plan."

"6.9 what is 6.9? a really great thing ruined by a period"

"What do you call a man in the window? INNUENDO!!!!!!!"