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Joke of the Day

"Chop, chop! - Chop, chop! - Who's there? - Han. - Han who? - Hannibal."

"What is the holiest chord? G sus"

"Having an intelligent conversation with my 17 year old son. Just kidding. He's making fart noises while I talk about the SATs."

"Fellas, don't waste your time. Memorizing the lyrics to Gangnam Style hasn't gotten me laid once."

"Why can't you be friends with a tampon? Because they are stuck up cunts."

"What do you call an elephant and a rhino mixed? Asked my buddy ""What would you call an elephant and a rhino mixed?"". He looks at me and says ""Shit man, Helliphino""."

"Why did the one-fifth go to the masseuse? Because he was two-tenths"

"Axl Rose: Where do we go? Me: Left Axl: Where do we go now? Me: Straight. Axl: Oh, where do we go now? Me: Damn it, Axl, let me drive!"

"Did you hear the one about the man who was run over by a Nissan? He had to pay the altamate price."

"I do not have an obsession with tidiness. I just wanted to clear that up."