202045
Joke of the Day
"What does a unionized hooker say when she is done work for the day? I'm off the cock."
Next Joke
"What has 7 arms and sucks? Def Leppard"
"Is siri better than you? that's a siri-ous question."
"Go down a water slide without water and you'll understand why foreplay is so important."
"[sits son down after he didn't win science fair] son, tomorrow some will call me ""hero"" others will call me ""guy who fought a teacher"""
"[anniversary dinner] HER: tell me something that will make my heart race ME: my credit card got declined"
"What kind of Asian dish takes away your freedoms? Kung Pao Chicken"
"Me: My dog ran away two days ago Dog pound: Does he have a tag? Me [covers phone to ask wife]: Is the dog on Instagram?"
"Why do nursing homes give men Viagra before they sleep? So they won't roll out of bed."
"Two termites walk into a bar... ""Excuse me sir, is the bar tender here?"""