201915

Joke of the Day

"You know you've seen too many walking dead episodes when your hand gets stung by a bee and you start screaming for everyone to cut it off"

"God promised men that good and obedient wives would be found in all corners of the earth. Then God made the earth round.....and he laughed and laughed and laughed."

"Trying to figure out if you practice the violin for many hours every day, or if you just have a really bad hickey."

"'I've been a very bad girl,' she said, biting her lip. 'I need to be punished.' 'Very well,' he said and installed Windows 10 on her laptop."

"How do you measure the molar mass of guacamole? With Avocado's Constant."

"Your mama's so stupid She killed herself for life insurance"

"Take a pistol 1. Take a pistol 2. Point it to your head 3. Pull the trigger WHAT HAPPENS NEXT WILL BLOW YOUR MIND"

"A friend of mine tried to annoy me with bird puns... But I soon realized that toucan play at that game"

"Are you a rollercoaster? *motions hands to be about a foot long* cuz im this tall to ride"

"What do you call the famous astronomer whose observations were the foundation of Kelper's great works. Typo Brahe."