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Joke of the Day

"Trying to figure out if you practice the violin for many hours every day, or if you just have a really bad hickey."

"What is the difference between a Mother and Wife? One woman brings you into this world crying and the other ensures you continue to do so."

"Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch Sorry, my cat walked on my keyboard and accidentally typed something Welsh."

"Why did voldermort used Twitter instead of Facebook? Because he only had followers. Not friends."

"I donated a large amount of money to a rape clinic.. I wouldn't take no as an answer"

"Justice In China."

"Do you speak sign language? No, we sign it."

"Sorry in advance for the pun... So they opened a new zoo by my house, it really sucks. They only have one dog....it's a total shih tzu."

"congrats to those who made it onto my ""Not A Lizard"" spreadsheet in 2015. to the rest of u, better luck next year and/or die reptilian scum."

"What did one saggy boob say to the other? We better perk up or people may think were nuts."