201865

Joke of the Day

"BOSS: You ok? ME: Yeah, why? BOSS: You have a sign that says ""2 Days Without Being Annoyed"" [maintaining eye contact, I change it to 0]"

"They say the way to a man's heart is through his stomach... Unless he's a vegan. Then you can get there through his vagina."

"The color black is out drinking with his friends. Black says to the bartender, ""Hey, something isn't right. Where is all the color white?"" Bartender says, ""dude, this is a gray bar."

"Hi 911, I'd like to report a drunk naked guy blasting off truck nuts w/ a shotgun. Time of incident? [takes drink] In about 20 minutes lol"

"BREAKING - The Russian Navy has released a statement after accidentally sinking one of it's own submarines Oops, wrong sub."

"A Cuban, a Canadian, and a White Supremacist walk into a bar... Bartender says, ""what'll it be Ted?"""

"What is CC Sabathia's favorite inning to pitch in baseball? The bottom of the fifth"

"What did the 8 say to infinity? Come on man, get up!"

"I hope Death is a woman.... That way it will never come for me."

"Using Twitter for business is like buying ad space over a urinal."